"What is the worst experience you've had here?" Masa asked. 

"You mean, besides the brutal rejection?" 

"Yeah, besides that." 

"...I dunno. Even though I was kind of bored some days, nothing notably horrible really happened. Well, except for getting stalked...but that was kind of flattering."

"What's one word you'd use to describe your experience?" 

"One word??" 

"Yeah, one word." I thought hard, chewing my nails and tapping my sandal against the coffee table. 

"Umm....," 

"I am notorious for asking difficult questions." 

"Yeah, I fucking know." 

"No rush." I bit furiously at my cuticles.  

"....pivotal." 

"Pi...fo..." 

"Pivotal." 

"Spell?" 

"P-i-v-o-t-a-l." 

"What it means, this word?" 

"Uhh.....sort of like, when something big happens and changes your life." 

"Ah, big changes?" "

Yeah. Real big changes." 

"What changed the most?" I leaned back with my hands behind my head. 

"I got over myself." 

"....what does this mean?"  

"It means...you know how I'm usually super overdramatic about everything?" 

"Ah--yeah." 

"I would get upset when something even sort of negative happened. If I missed a train, I would be really mad. If I missed a sale on something, I would be pissed off. Even this rejection--I dwelled on it for days and days kicking myself for it." 

"So..." 

"So, I thought about it. A lot. For a few weeks straight...because I ended up spending a lot of alone time with myself and the English language. And I sort of figured out that I should just slow down," I sat up, "for the first 16 or 17 years of my life, I was miserable. My parents were split up, I hated school, I was never at home, I was constantly suicidal. And then, slowly, because of my actions, things began to change. It didn't happen all at once, but eventually, I earned happiness. Now, when I find myself getting upset over one person's words, one person I might never see again, I have to stop and think--is this really worth blowing up over? Because I feel like I've come a long way since the misery of my adolescence. I sort of learned to...appreciate everything." 

"And why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Why do you think this change happened?" I sat back. 

"I'm not sure. I think it's because I spent a lot of time alone....and I was pulled out of the environment I had grown up in. Plus, I made the most amazing friends, and everyone--with the exception of Yohei Kato--has been unbelievably nice to me." He laughed. 

"These hard experiences make you stronger, more beautiful. You know, you need to stop taking him so seriously." 

"Yeah, I know." 

"You're so young." 

"Okay, seriously, if you call me young one more time, I swear to god." 

"You're only 20." 

"I feel like I'm...27."  

"A girl isn't attractive enough to date until she is....at least 25." 

"What!" 

"25 is the age when a girl is mature enough to be with." 

"You're full of shit." 

"You should wait, I think, to look for someone." 

"For what, 5 years?"

"Time flies very quickly when you're as young as you are." 

"....you suck." 

"Mm, maturity." I flipped him off.