Desu desu desu.

This is the post for Day Two. If you have not yet read the post for Day One, for God's sake, man, scroll down and read that first. Skuroru daun wo kudasai. Hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Day Two.

"I fought piranahs, and I fought the cold. There was no one with me--I was all alone. Yeah."

I shot up at 5:30am the next morning, rarin' to go. Upon realizing that I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and that the sun was hardly even up yet, I forced myself to go back to sleep, which half-worked. I woke up again for realsies at 8am, pulled on my boots, pulled back my hair--which was disgusting because I had been sweating all night...humidity fail--and walked to the Circle K I had passed on my way in. I bought some shampoo--at least, that's what I think I read on the bottle--and breakfast. I grabbed onigiri, and some thing that looked like an apple fritter in saran wrap. Upon reading the label, I made out, "Wrong bun - Sausage." Thinking that there could not possibly be sausage in this pastry--oh, what I fool I am--I bought it, bit into it, and, sure enough. Tiny sausages. Whatever, it tasted awesome, and I hadn't eaten since God knows when. I also drank orange juice which was sitting out on my floor from the day before, but since when have I ever cared about anything.

At 10am, a strikingly beautiful young lady named Lisa knocked on my flamboyant door to walk me to the front office to check into my real room at Big Wave 21. She lol'd at the fact that I put on my shoes before I got to the special shoe-putting-on-platform...whoopos...and lent me an umbrella for the walk. If eyes could go into cardiac arrest, mine would have done so upon entering the Guest House main office. The guest house itself already looked like a middle school art project, but this was just amazing. Every wall, chair, desk, and table was absolutely slathered in ridiculous bright murals. Paintings of children, men, women, dogs, cats, trees, everything, boldly outlined and filled in with thick flourishes surrounded them along with individual English words like "love" and "bold". I stepped into the office and ten or so people all smiled and waved happily. A grotesquely obese woman at the front counter nodded. I sat down and Lisa and Hana--the proprietor, I guess--went over the guest house rules with me. The rule book was an oversized cardboard book with the solar system painted on the front, the kind of book they read to you aloud in kindergarden. Luckily they had a paper version that I could take with me. Everything seemed standard and, honestly, as long as she spoke fluent English, I couldn't really give a damn what I agreed to. I signed some papers, handed over a shit ton of yen after some calculation difficulty, and the co-manager Tadashi drove me to Big Wave 21 in an oversized van, also swimming in ridiculous primary colored designs. He lol'd hard at me when I tried to get in on the driver's side. 

After walking me through the guest house--the halls of which look like a child's spin art--he explained that I can't wear shoes and I can smoke whenever I want and blah blah showers blah blah toilet paper etc.. 15 minutes after he left, he returned, banging on my door, to deliver the message that "B.B. was coming for me". B.B.? I had only been in Japan one day and I had already made enemies. But after he left, I interpreted it to mean that Viv--"B.B"--was coming from her hostel with Kat to pick up the rail pass I got from her apartment. Figuring she probably wouldn't come by for awhile, I left on a quest for towels. 

Let the record show that I am really bad at wandering. I never know where I'm going, ever, no matter where I am, and I always, without fail, get extremely lost. I didn't wander too far this time. However, I did a good deal of aimless walking with my mouth hung open and my tongue lolled out like a Disney character from the 50's, gawking at the flashing signs and mobs of businessmen and cute boys on bicycles. Tanashi, albeit in the city, is more of a suburb than anything, so I think that no matter how far I strayed from where I was supposed to be, I would have circled around eventually. I just kind of kept wandering and walking blindly into any place that had automatic doors that would open when I walked by. Due to this, I eventually found myself inside a magical department store I later found out is called LIVIN. I have no idea what that means. Anyway, I was ecstatic because first of all, the place was air conditioned, and secondly I could see a display of fluffy towels from the entrance. Keeping in the tradition of old-fashioned animation, my eyes turned into stars and I made a beeline for them. Two white towels, a pair of shoes, and a cheap watch later, I wandered out of the automatic doors again, just as confused as I had been when I walked in. On my way back, I made a point of staring in all of the windows to see if there was anything especially interesting. I did find a tremendously cute boy working at some kind of ramen restaurant. I smiled but I looked gross, and that's bad news bears, so I kept walking. I passed Olympics, this big grocery store directly behind the guest house, and set forth on my Grocery Shopping of Fail. Purchases I'm proud of include Fuji apples (they aren't kidding, hella Fuji) and a carton of orange juice, which I can keep in my little refrigerator. Kawaii, desu ne????? Desudesudesu.

I'd like to say I did something super interesting on my first full day in Japan. But really, I just sat around with my eyes glazed over, half asleep, flipping channels on my television. Each station is a display of bright colors, pop music, and weird humor. Tommy Lee Jones does a commercial for Mr. Boss Coffee over here, and Beyonce does one for, like, lemon water or something. I got totally pulled into this bizarre game show where contestants fill their mouths with milk, and the last person to lol at whatever weird comedic performance is happening wins the game. You raff, you ruse. As stupid as it sounds, it was really hilarious, and I watched that, along with some Coffee Prince-esque drama, for a good chunk of time before taking a shower. 

While I was in the shower, Viv had arrived, and was anxiously waiting at my room door for me to get my damp ass inside so she could get her train pass. She brought me some Mr. Donut (WHEE!!) and we tipped our hats, agreeing that, though we would be far away from each other, we'll still be in Japan, as well as Kat, so we should make some effort to road trip at some point. 

After she left, I wandered back and forth down the quiet halls of the guest house waiting to run into someone. But no one was really there. I guess they were spending their days out getting smashed in Shibuya and fucked in the backseat of Rolls Royces of something. It was sort of eerily quiet--as most of indoor-Japan has proven to be--so I locked myself back up in my room, unpacked my shit, read, amused myself with Japanese game shows some more, and eventually fell asleep.